I have been slowly leaving my Chosen Profession for years now and this business of keeping one toe in it for guilt and practicality's sake is increasingly feeling like a ludicrous sham. It's like when you run down a battery - and if you leave it sit for a while you can get a few more minutes life out of it, and you can do that a bunch of times, for increasingly shorter bits of life, until finally it's well and truly dead. After the initial burnout, I tried to convince myself that time off and part-time hours were recharging the battery - but in fact, I think I've just been draining off that final bit of juice at intervals for the last six years - and it's clearly almost gone.
What I want to do is not so hard to ascertain, what I ought to do is much more difficult, and what is financially practical to do - there's the rub. The Chosen Profession, soul-destroying though it has become, is very financially practical.
Back to fibre:
My discontent has extended to the knitting - the cute little top from VK: is not working out, due in approximately equal parts to the yarn substitutions I made and the fact that when all is said and done I just don't like the design as much as I thought I would. For one thing, the top panel is clearly not going to work at all in the yarn I chose, and for another the whole thing is a bit lumpy and cumbersome and probably looks much better in 2D on a lingerie clad model standing perfectly still with her chest jutting out unnaturally than it ever will on me in real life. I still like the concept of a lacy camisole in a variety of hues and weights of white / natural / cream yarn - it's just that I now think I Can Design a Better One Myself. We shall see - in the meantime, I have lived in this skin long enough to know that a hormonally heightened state of restlessness with an approaching deadline is not the time to embark upon a design adventure.
So, (hopefully) to the rescue, is this:
It's the little steek vest from Loop-d-Loop by Teva Durham, and I have substituted Jaeger Celeste: since I couldn't track down the recommended yarn. I achieved row and stitch gauge in the swatch, and I am fervently hoping this will work. I love love love the designs in this book, but I've recently been a little put off by the difficulties encountered by some other knit bloggers attempting to knit from another adventurous designer's new book - hopefully Durham has done the necessary test knitting. I'm going to be doing a lot of knitting from this book regardless, but I'm just not in the mood for glitches right now.
Speaking of glitches, it turns out I'm a couple of balls short of a sleeve for the tunic (and I like to think I'm a math whiz - arrgh) and Gedifra Korfu seems to have disappeared from the planet. Not to worry, I have a Cunning Plan, for which I have already ordered the yarn. More on that another day.