Well, that was one of the more discouraging weeks in recent memory. I won't subject you to the list of disappointments, but as a predictable side-effect, routines were disrupted, energy was low, and I did not complete all my runs, nor all my pushups, nor did I say no to every culinary treat. And one of the hardwon lost pounds came back. Perhaps even weighing once a week is too much.
One of the things I have learned over 40+ years of living (and it so often seems that I have not learned nearly enough) is that life goes in cycles. And while there is a time and a place to take stock of external feedback, add things up and make new plans, there is also a time to stop looking at the numbers, shut down the anxiously nattering bits of grey matter, and doggedly press on with what needs doing. The inexorable slide into darkness from late September to Christmas (or your own particular festival of light) is a particularly critical time to turn inward for quiet confidence and knowing, because the external evidence points to a terrible trend, and only dogged faith tells us that the sun will return, that this is not the beginning of eternal night.
With that in mind, here is what I Know:
1) While eating good quality food and reconnecting with my body's feelings of genuine satiety and hunger is very helpful, micromanaging my caloric intake is not. It makes me cranky and frustrated and is consequently readily bumped when I need the psychic energy for other things.
2) If I don't micromanage my caloric intake, a modest level of fitness will improve my general sense of well-being, but will only serve to stabilize my current weight and shape. (Fifteen years of family practice tells me that it isn't just me, either.)
3) A superb level of fitness, on the other hand, will readily absorb the dietary fluctuations that result from hectic days, special occasions, and all the other bumps and surprises of life. It will give me the shape I want, the energy I need, the depression-fighting endorphins that come in awfully handy over the next six months, and a host of other mundane benefits like being able to lift stuff without hurting myself.
4) A superb level of fitness takes time - time to progess and chunks of time to do the work.
5) Achievement is way more fun than denial.
So, I resolve to:
1) Press on as planned: now that both kids are in full days at school, I will go to the gym Mon/Wed/Fri mornings for weights and cross training and run/do push-ups & Pilates Tues/Thurs/Sat. (Sounds hard-core I know, but realistically, 1 or 2 or 3 of those days will be periodically scuttled by sick kids and other last-minute surprises.) Getting to the gym requires a level of night-before preparation that I did not achieve after yesterday's market, but I can do it for Wednesday.
2) Enjoy life and refuse to look at the numbers (all sorts of numbers, actually)....until at least the winter solstice. I'll continue to report in weekly... but on the achievements, not the losses.
Because life is Good.