Really. I was serious about not weighing myself before the winter solstice and have thus far stuck to the resolution without resorting to hiding the scale. (You can't imagine what hitherto unattained levels of self-control this has entailed.)
The fitness program.... is coming smack up against the realities of life with school aged children. Every year I manage to forget (probably because no one gets so much as a sniffle over the summer) the whole business of winter colds. Every virus in the Sea to Sky corridor (and likely a few tourist-borne imports) sniffles and oozes its way home on the school bus, which means that less than half of any given month is fully productive. Either someone is home from school, or one of the adults is sick and not able to efficiently carry out their usual chores, or (as was the case last week) not quite succumbing to the latest plague, but exhausted and achy just the same. (Not to mention the meetings, special events, volunteering, etc. that crop up frequently but in semi-random fashion). One way or another, any plan that relies on consistent, efficient scheduling is doomed.
So I tried out the principle of Enough and walked when I felt too lousy to run, got in my pushups and Pilates, and began to come to terms with the fact that I have no idea (nor can I realistically predict) exactly when I will get to 100 push-ups or 20 km or minus 20 lbs, but it does not mean that I won't. (You might be sick of me by then, though.) I am still on week 2 of the push-ups program and I wish that muscle strength came more quickly to my physique (but if it did, I would likely be fretting about not liking to bulk up). I had to go back down to level 2 of my running program because, although my aerobic capacity was ready for the increased mileage, my hip and knee were not. Cross training and specific strength training will take care of that.... in time.
This disconnect between effort and results is unsettling. I would much prefer a tidy mathematical ratio; ie. Result = X(Effort) where X is a constant (maybe something to do with Pi and the speed of light.) I can deal with X being small, even tiny, but random bugs the heck out of me. I powered through the dark years of my teens and twenties with a philosophy of "set big goals, grit your teeth, and achieve or die trying," but I am coming to see that there are other ways to move forward, other ways to live. Patience and constancy perhaps?
In a nutshell then, my plan for this week is: Doing what needs to be done right now, not living in the future, not giving up. (There's also something percolating about self-acceptance and not hiding out until the mythical attainment of bodily perfection, but I'm not quite there yet. Elspeth seems to be much further along that road, though her post was a very timely wake-up call.)