Let It Snow

I'm having a difficult time posting these days.  Normally I try to stay all upbeat and happy, but I'm feeling tired to the core of my being and having a hard time thinking of things to say beyond the purely functional announcement stuff.  It doesn't help that there is some heartbreakingly nasty politics brewing in a circle of people (not family) of whom I am exceptionally fond.  I've thus far tried to stay out of it, but I don't have the option of non-presence, and I have never managed to develop a robust personal filtre for other people's extreme emotion. Hate in particular, makes me feel like I'm choking on a cloud of poison gas... who knows, maybe that's why I still can't breathe properly since I first started coughing two months ago.

I did carve out a space for joy yesterday, though.  Until now, I've been doing my dyeing under cover on the patio - rain or shine, cold or hot, but it was well below freezing yesterday, and I just couldn't face it.

 

So I cleared the counters, coated the kitchen in newspaper, put on some Strauss waltzes and a pot of tea and had a lovely day.  There's a couple of surfaces that look like I put a clown through a wood chipper, but they don't show.... much.  I didn't quite finish by bedtime, so I should really get to work on that and a thousand other things, but maybe I'll indulge in a few minutes of knitting first. The gifting list is less than half done... but that's what Xpress Post is for, right?

Comments

[Lee]

I'm so sorry that you are having a bad patch. Please know how much pleasure your blog and the yarn I have bought from you give me.

[Marilyn G]

(((Ruth)))

B-r-e-a-t-h-e ... and know that you are appreciated!

[moiraeknittoo]

like I put a clown through a wood chipper

I love this image for a whole whack of reasons. Oh yes. And I know how it feels to be strangled by others emotions. Being fairly empathic can be a gift and a curse. Maybe imagine yourself surrounded by mirrors that just reflect all that hate away from you? Or white light that allows only what you choose to let through?

[Charity]

A clown through a woodchipper!! I'm going to have that thought with me all day - thanks for the giggle. :0)

As far as the rest of the stuff go... you're allowed to be tired. It takes time to process big emotional stuff (some of us need more time than others, that's okay too), and this is a crazy time of year at the best of times. Full of lots and lots of joy, lots and lots of stress. Hang in there. The peace and quiet of January is almost here.

[--Deb]

Sending good, peaceful December wishes your way...

[Lorette]

I'm pretty sure that this is the best time of year for dysfunctional families and friends to get under your skin. It's good that you can make some joyful time for yourself.

And now I have a whole playlist of Strauss waltzes playing. Lovely!

[Lorette]

And I forgot: "Clown through a wood chipper"

Snort. That made me laugh harder than anything else all day.

[Joan]

Delurking - if the others are adults and if the nastiness is not about you, then, hard as it is, it is not your problem. Life is short and you have too many fine gifts to offer to spend your energy on ugly, hateful behaviour. Blessings be upon you.

[Johanna Krishnan]

You describe that so well - hate and judgement feel like poison gas to me too - and unfortunately I understand all too well about carrying emotional crap physically - and just feeling like crap. Just try to remember it is all about them - not about you. You create beauty that helps me stay out of all that poison gas!!!!

I am in the midst of knitting some holey socks from the algea illuminated sock yarn I got from you - and can't wait to get the scrumptious leaf mitt yarn.

Stay warm and centered!!!

[Ros]

Ah, yes. I know that one well. When I was feeling something similar to you, a good friend told me this. There are times to be selfelss and there for everyone. In fact, that's good a lot of the time. But, as they say on planes when they're giving the safety briefing, there are times when you need to fit your own mask first. (Because if you don't you are no good to anyone else :-)) Sounds like you need some much needed down time. Hope you get it.

[Ros]

Ah, yes. I know that one well. When I was feeling something similar to you, a good friend told me this. There are times to be selfless and there for everyone. In fact, that's good a lot of the time. But, as they say on planes when they're giving the safety briefing, there are times when you need to fit your own mask first. (Because if you don't you are no good to anyone else :-)) Sounds like you need some much needed down time. Hope you get it.