It starts tomorrow.
I'm not exactly sure what to say about 2009. It has, in many ways, been extraordinarily successful: the business is finally showing signs of genuinely being able to support us, and my daughter has a wonderful teacher whose approach has allowed her to blossom in ways I feared the system would permanently squelch. It has also been a runaway train that focused the stressors of the last nine years like a magnifying glass under the sun, gathered momentum in exponential fashion over the last two months, and left me clinging by my fingernails to the edge of a very black pit.
I had (and have) developed a strategy to ultimately bring the workload under control and fulfill my overwhelming responsibilities in sustainable fashion: goals, lists, constantly improving efficiencies, time management, streamlining, prioritizing, regular slots for assessing, tweaking, reassessing. Contingencies, slush time, and back-ups upon back-ups to buffer the "manana" nature of my in-house support systems. It is genuinely good stuff, and excellent progress was made in getting non-negotiable survival needs into a stable and consistent groove. Unfortunately, I didn't get to the self-care stage of The Plan (really - insertion of a self-care slot into the schedule was slated to begin as soon as the kids went back to school next week) before the physical and emotional reserves gave out.
The bigger goals are still valid, the framework is made and ready to be fleshed out in the next interval of clarity, but the only resolution I can clearly articulate right now is to find a space of calm and a spark of pleasure in this present moment. Only that. Only now.
And that's what it is all about, is it not, Ruth? Living in the now. Because anything else is beyond us and our control.
A very happy new year to you and your family!
Posted by: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1662742230 | 31/12/2009 at 07:04 PM
Enjoy it!
Posted by: Lynn in Tucson | 31/12/2009 at 07:40 PM
Happy New Year, Oh artistic one!
Posted by: Gillian | 31/12/2009 at 08:17 PM
Well done for finding that little bit of space and peace. Not something I find easy to achieve myself. Wishing you and your family every blessing for the coming year.
PS. The yarn arrived yesterday. It's as gorgeous as it promised to be. Thank you!
Posted by: Ros | 01/01/2010 at 02:51 AM
Happy New Year, Ruth. Remember to take time for you. You are a wellspring and your needs must be replenished also.
Posted by: Linda | 01/01/2010 at 04:16 AM
Happy New Year to you, Ruth! I've been reading a lot of posts that sound like yours ... 2009 seems to have been a year that had a lot of us finding blessings amid many challenges. I think your goal -- searching for and enjoying the small bright spots amid the chaos -- is a good one. Wishing you all the best in the coming year.
Posted by: Ruth | 01/01/2010 at 05:16 AM
Happy New Year to you and your family. All the best in 2010 and please make sure you implement the self care plan. I spent a very pleasant few hours yesterday knitting with your wonderful yarn - it brought a bright spot of color into a gray and snowy Boston day.
Posted by: meg | 01/01/2010 at 05:53 AM
Happy New Year!
Posted by: Cookie | 01/01/2010 at 12:49 PM
Happy New Year! I hope that you find the time and space you need to renew your creative energies - you are now one of my favorite dyers, and I (selfishly) want your business to flourish and thrive in the next years.
Posted by: Allison | 01/01/2010 at 05:04 PM
I'm glad things are coming together and The Plan is being put in place. Don't leave out the "me time" for too much longer...no manana's for you! Here's to a healthy, happy, successful 2010.
Big hugs!! :)
Posted by: Kerri | 01/01/2010 at 09:15 PM