Mercurial

For the record, I am a complete non-believer in astrology. I have an open mind and all, but the logical scientist in me simply can't see any plausibility in the notion that everyone born at a particular time of year has the same personality, destiny, etc. - there are way too many biological variables with far more immediacy than the nebulous emanations of an indistinct blip in the sky. Nevertheless....

Aug. 1: the Shadow phase of Mercury's retrograde progression begins. Soon after, our beloved 16 year old stove blows up, with a dramatic display of sparks and spitting. This is suboptimal for a home dyeing business, but in the interests of saving money, we try various fixes with diminishing levels of success, until at last the corroded wiring harness tells us in no uncertain terms what to do with ourselves.

Aug. 20: Mercury's retrograde phase begins in earnest. Rob researches, I concur, we order a new stove - flat-top, since that's just about all that is available anymore if you don't have gas and want a decent quality oven. 

Aug. 23: Computer monitor begins to act strangely.

Aug. 25: Computer monitor goes to sleep for the last time. Problematic, since many critical business things can only be done from the PC to which it is attached, and the laptop is a convoluted workaround at best. (My father is reading this and thinking "if only she'd gotten on with solving the full networking issue like I TOLD her to, she'd be able to access all those files....")

Aug. 26: Stove arrives. After installation and celebration, we read the instruction manual and discover a plethora of restrictions that were not apparent anywhere in the sales information. These restrictions will cut my dyeing efficiency in half, as well as forbiding numerous forms of cooking we enjoy and promising dire consequences if you so much as look at the damn cooktop wrong. I do further internet research and discover that hating flat top stoves is not an uncommon scenario. Tears and recriminations and feeling stupid ensue. We discuss the possibility of exchange with Sears and are cheerfully advised that it will be an expensive logistical nightmare. Undaunted, we peruse the coil top possibilities and find three acceptable options, all of which are labelled "in stock" but can't actually be delivered for several months. With the business at stake, we have little choice but to make do, and begin researching hot-plates with which to augment our brand new techno-stove and regain the level of usefulness provided by the extinct one. (I have a serious rant in the works about cooking devices designed for the needs of a consumer base that rarely cooks and is predominantly concerned with appearances. Later.)

Aug. 27: Having decided the stove issue, we take a deep breath and turn our attention to ordering a new monitor. I do many hours of research, determined not to make another expensive error. Choice made, go online to order - the website shuts down for 24 hours for technical difficulties just as I reach the checkout page. Starting to feel a nagging sense of doom.

Presently: still waiting for the monitor to arrive, and until it does, I am on gmail, which is forwarded with considerably less than 100% reliability from my regular mail. If you need something urgently and I seem to be inexplicably ignoring your emails - try robruth DOT cox AT gmail DOT com. Just for the next few days, though I wouldn't entirely rule out a landslide crushing the truck in which our monitor is travelling - after all, Mercury is still in retrograde until the 27th of September. Not that I believe in that superstitious crap, of course.

Life goes on, dyeing has resumed, the tantalising promise of 5 productive hours a day is just around the corner, and I'll get back to proper blogging once I can download the camera to the proper computer.

As the Canadian Air Force motto says: Per Ardua Ad Astra (colloquially translated: Do It The Hard Way.)

Comments

[randomCindy]

Oh dear! They are testy creatures, those smooth top ranges. I actually am back to the old coils and finding I don't miss the smooth top a bit. Neither were my choice. Now if I could just find one old enough not to have any digital display at all! I absolutely loathe pushing the arrow buttons to set the oven temperature! I hope it works out for you. Of course it will work out, I just hope the worst of it is behind you. =)

[Sarah]

You know, I don't believe in the birth chart bit of astrology, but if celestial bodies can influence the tides, seasons, women's periods, etc etc I think something like Mercury being in retrograde can definitely have an effect on us.

What's the deal with the smooth tops (I'm guessing you mean ceramic)? My mum has a ceramic cooktop and I don't think she's ever had any problems with it. Since leaving home I've mostly had gas, I love it and would never want to go back. But some of the ceramic cooktops have nifty features, like some heat up instantly, or have a boost button type thing I think.

[danielle]

Mercury in retrograd explains why I scraped the side of my car on the wall of the garage I've been parking in for over 10 years without any mishaps. I'll be careful until September 27

[Kathlene Larson]

You and the Yarn Harlot seem to be experiencing the same phenomena. Perhaps you should offer a sacrifice to Mercury, like (accidentally) burning your cooktop in effigy on the lawn. (just kidding!)

So sorry to hear all of this. I am sure things will be better in September!

[naomi]

Ouch.

I am not a fan of anything that's theoretically functional being redesigned into something that's pretty but unhelpful. (This includes kitchen appliances, but also skirts without pockets.)

[Lara]

Flat-top stoves bite.

When I was in Maine, the Cosmic Muffin used to give strict warnings about Mercury in retrograde. No contracts, expect electronics to go nuts, no major purchases, no new relationships. And he meant it. Perhaps it's hitting Canada extra hard?

Hope it gets better...

[KathleenC]

Stupid Mercury can take a flying leap. In the past month I have broken a toe, watched a friendship implode, lost an ipod, and totalled a truck by hitting a deer.
Only good thing is that Mercury moves fast!

[Brenda]

Well, it made me laugh but I'm sure you are not laughing. Thanks for the Latin phrase - I keep note of Latin phrases in a little book.

[kathleen]

The theory around our house is that the appliances, the car, the computer are all keeping us under surveillance (for untoward criticisms, snide remarks, and wishes)--and are all in cahoots with one another to break down more or less in unison. :) Or maybe it's Mercury egging them on.

How else explain the following (cue the Twilight Zone theme music): The car's fuel pump died on a high-speed, limited access, divided highway. The microwave nuked it's last leftover. And my cranky brother-in-law came to visit.

[Abbie]

I am sorry about your stove. I would have to say, I shook my head when I saw you got a ceramic cook top. The newly renovated kitchen in our rental house has a ceramic stove top and we HATE it. You are right--basically it is best not to use it, but we love to cook. According to the manual, we would have to replace all of our cookware to a set with perfectly flat bottoms for it to work properly. We would also be wise not to cook sauces that have any ingredients remotely resembling something sweet. And forget any of the shaking to stir techniques that my husband employs--almost sure to scratch the darn thing. It is so inefficient, that we have resorted to using an old hot pot to heat water for our morning coffee.

Thanks for letting me rant, and I hope you are somehow able to resolve the issue with minimal expense and maximum satisfaction.

[Vicki]

Well, that would explain a few of the snafus that have been happening in my world this month!! Yikes. Sorry about your stove. And monitor.

[Cookie]

Oh no! Just think how you'll be able to relax after the 27th, right?

xo

[evalyn]

When last I shopped for a stove, a kindly salesman asked if I did any home canning. When I said yes, he explained that not only do the burners NOT get hot enough for pressure cooker or canner, any dragging of pots across the surface will ruin the burners. I promptly opted for a coil burner (cheaper) stove. When I read your post, I thought, well, maybe they have improved the ceramic tops. Sorry, I guess not.

[Deb from Kingston]

EEEKKKKK. I guess you don't want to hear about bad things happening in threes?????? Okay. I just won't mention it.
Hope all is well otherwise.........

[Jen in KS]

The Canadian Air Force and the founding fathers of my home state, Kansas, had similar philosophies. The Kansas motto is Ad Astra Per Aspera, "to the stars through difficulty".

[Karen]

I, too, was hoping flat-tops had improved since we thankfully moved away from one a few years ago. It must depend heavily on the amount and type of cooking you do, because I do know some folks who love them. The unfortunate incident with the potholder taught me that they also take forever to fully cool down. Ours was also shiny pure black--very sharp looking, but you could see a speck of dust on that cooktop from the living room. At least yours is a more forgiving color.

[Kathy Sue]

I, too, thought "Uh-oh" when I saw the new stove, but decided to think positive, and hope that I would be proved wrong! Sorry it didn't work out. It is beautiful, though.

[Melissa]

Would something like this help with the dyeing?

http://www.amazon.com/Nesco-American-4808-25-20-18-Quart-Stainless/dp/B000FG0OEG/ref=pd_sim_k_1

[=Tamar]

According to my calendar, Mercury went direct on
Sept 12th. I refuse to go along with the "shadow"
effects, the actual times are bad enough.

[Kris (PirateFoxy on Ravelry)]

I know this is an older post, but I just had to share sympathies - when I lived in England and we first bought our house, I ended up having to turn to ebay for a second hand stove model that was a) within our price range and b) apparently actually designed to be properly COOKED ON. As far as I can tell, there are now three classes of stove purchasers:

1. People who never actually cook anything and just need a place to heat up frozen pizza and maybe the occasional can of soup.

2. People who never actually cook anything but must have a kitchen which looks Absolutely Fantastic so the appliances must LOOK like they belong in one of those Kitchen-and-Bath design porn magazines. (I actually know someone who uses her kitchen so infrequently for actual cooking that she keeps her sweaters in her oven. But it is a very pretty oven.)

3. People who have proceeded past 2 into the domestication stage of building/buying a Dream Home who may have at some point learned to cook, taken cooking classes, or at least intend on taking cooking classes, who therefore want to buy something that looks really nice, but also is only a couple of robotic arms away from being able to cook an entire meal by itself. These will be typically branded by some company that sponsors TV celebrity chef types and quite possibly also has an actual legitimate restaurant kitchen appliance arm (not that commercial and residential lines are made or designed by the same people, to the same standards - but they want you to THINK they are) and will cost, well, probably more than a small house in many areas to buy new. (At which point it will probably never get used anyway, because it will invariably be shiny stainless steel and if you use it, you will spend more time wiping it down and removing fingerprints and smudges than cooking, if you want it to stay decorative.)

I lucked out and got a category 3 stove second hand from someone who bought a house with one in, was terribly intimidated by the thing, and replaced it with an attractive looking category 1 model instead. (There may have been hugging that went on when it was finally installed, but no one can prove it.)

Alas, I now live in the US and had to leave my house in the UK behind, and am back to category 1 uselessness. (To be fair to landlords marketing at college students, I don't imagine most college students want to actually do much beyond heat up a frozen pizza.)