Still Here

Three weeks kind of fell into a black hole there. It wasn't anything tragic - a cold that brought with it weeks of aches, chills and exhaustion, a husband completely (and I do mean completely) incapacitated by a bout of back pain, and the need to spend my evenings walking on eggshells in the effort to buoy my daughter's spirits and provide just the right amount of prodding to get her homework load finished before bedtime. That last one feels like it uses up most of my capacity for creative word work right now.... or at least the cheerful words.  A couple of months ago, someone in town who reads my blog (which is vaguely disconcerting in a small town) laughed and told me that she knows ALL about my neuroses now, thanks to the blog. And even though I believe passionately in authenticity, the cyclical nature of life and the value and validity of the whole  of human experience, that comment initiated a nagging doubt that maybe I ought to self-censor more, stick with Enthusiasm and Good Cheer.  And I promptly lost my voice.

While I'm not invested in the idea of misery as a prerequisite for art, I do believe that embracing and processing and grappling with the full range of emotion and energy and season is the best foundation for creativity.  I find limiting my emotional range to Relentless Enthusiasm to have approximately the same effect as a diet consisting solely of buttercream icing.

I guess that's as good a way as any of saying: I'm back.

Where to begin - there's plenty going on. It has been a dark and rainy fall, which sets me to craving colour, and certain kinds of colour, in the same way I crave comfort food.  Juxtaposition of hues in stranded knitting has captivated me right now, and is opening up whole new avenues of exploration. I've begun to think of each colourway as a musical instrument - some are pure and singular, some so harmonically rich as to be practically an orchestra unto themselves. Nevertheless, there is a world of difference between a solo and a duet... a trio, quartet, symphony.  The qualities of a single instrument (or colour) are heightened in combination with another - sometimes in equal partnership, sometimes with one creating a backdrop for the other. Furthermore, there are any number of instruments that don't normally solo, but are indispensible to a full and richly layered sound... so it is with colour, and that little insight frees me to consider all sorts of new possibilities. 

I'm working on simple  duets right now, via an ever-lengthening swatch scarf... like so:

Copper and Coppergreen

 

Coppergreen and Pale Rock

 

Pale Rock and Beary Surprise:

 

As time permits, I'd like to work through each duet with a blog post of its own - looking at the components, their level of saturation, where they sit on the colour wheel... teasing out the inner workings of their partnership.

I've also begun to offer the duets as split skeins, because a significant majority (not all - check your pattern first!) of small stranded projects (mitts, mittens, hats, etc.) require a total yardage equivalent to a single skein of fingering weight yarn, and it seems a little daunting to purchase two skeins to be partially used for a single small project. It's a work in progress - I'm just putting up a couple of skeins of each duet at a time, until I get a better sense of interest levels, but I'm already having a lot of fun with it. (Actually, I would have published a collection of small colourwork designs of my own to go with them by now, if not for a mysteriously corrupted flash drive, but I'm trying not to dwell on that and think instead about the golden opportunity to make them That Much Better. The first is almost rewritten and once I send it out for TE and testing, I'll give you a sneak preview.)

Comments

[Kerri]

Glad to see you back on line, Ruth - I was getting worried! :) Love that Coppergreen & Pale Rock combo.

[Linda M]

would the combo packs be enough for a pair of adult mittens?

[Kourtney]

I feel much the same about my blog - too much reality? Not enough optimism? Too much about the littles?

PS: Love the split combos - but have myself on a self-imposed yarn diet (snort) until I get another project done. Any project. Just one. Done.

PPS: Also debating using the fragrant dreaming for a sweater for NaNoSweMo, (or whatever it is, national knit a sweater in November)...

[Cookie]

I've missed you! Please don't let one weirdo local get to you. People who are always and only happy and cheery really annoy the rest of us. No one is that happy all the time without meds.

xo

[Sheila]

We are so happy to see you back in action. Like Kerri we were getting very concerned.

Do hope Rob's back gets back to normal very soon and that the homework gets easier to bear.

[Gillian]

Copper & coppergreen !

[CuddleDemon]

Self-editing is a must, but I believe you've already been doing that.

I admire your technique with your daughter. I fear we didn't handle the homework situation nearly as well. Of course, we did the best we could...

[Lee]

So glad you are back and that all is well. I love your ideas on color so will look forward to the posts you mentioned.

[Brenda]

Glad you are back. Some people talk to themselves, some go to a counsellor, some blog. Whatever keeps us sane.

[koru]

Welcome back to the resonant voice of your own authenticity. It is precisely that voice that has made your blog so compelling a read for me.

I sometimes think that we all live one step removed from an awareness that our friends, neighbours, and random acquaintances view us through the lenses of their individual perspectives all the time. Maybe we need to have that sense of remove for our own sanity or freedom. Every now and again the tissue curtain is ripped aside and we realize we are out there in the world for all to see. Those are the very times to take a deep breath, settle in and remember that we are out there for the world to see, and that we are loved and worthy of that love.

I do not know you, nor do I pretend to have any greater intimacy with you than the particular resonance your words and art have stirred in me. Nonetheless I feel personally touched and enriched by your blog self.

Your blog seems real to me - funny, warm, tender, and incredibly creative. Your sense of colour is breathtaking. Your love of yarn is inspirational. And your struggles with the challenging role of being a mother feel tender and reassuring.

Breathe deeply. Trust in the strength of your instincts and remember as a species we have survived because almost every mother has stood on this brink of indecision and has tried to do her very best. It's been working so far.

Om shanti

[anne bland]

Blogging is a genre like any other. Like many bloggers, I don't blog about my troubles because I can't be sure who might read it, and I would be selective about who I shared my woes with.
However, you seem to talk though your creative struggles, which is a completely different thing. I am sure there is a lot of personal stuff you choose not to share.

[Caffeine Girl]

I love how honest and authentic you are. It takes a lot of courage.

I LOVE my yarn. I'll be blogging about it this week. Even Farm Boy, who thinks I have WAY too much yarn, is impressed by it!

[elan]

Glad to see you back, I've dropped off myself at times due to business, missed you.

[Mariann]

Glad you are back. And I love the colors you put
together. Especially the Pale Rock and Beary Surprise.

[Allison]

Glad you're still here, blogging! Those color combinations are AMAZING and I'm glad you've done the work of putting them together so I don't have to think too hard about them. Next time I'm buying yarn, those split-combos are first on my to-buy list!

[Deb from Kingston]

I love the idea of the split skeins- I can see a scarf that uses say, apink and a green on the ends, and then uses a pale cream and a green in the centre. Hmmmmm