It's an idea I've been pondering since early this year - one of those concepts that seemed like a casual curiosity, but kept circling back, bumping into me by accident, until with crashing force and emotion it became an epiphany - the answer to years of dis-integration, confusion, and unacknowledged mourning.
It began with a little piece I wrote about Bridget back at the end of January, and then never published for Imbolc because it seemed overly wordy and pedantic. Tucked into my research was the mention that she seemed to be a Celtic version of the goddess Athena... a name that shows up frequently in my kids' vocabulary, thanks to their fascination with Greek mythology. Finally, I read a little more, and found a description of Athena's attributes:
- spinner, weaver
- patron of arts and craftsmanship
- warrior and strategist
- diplomat and peacemaker
- wise intellectual
- protector and shrewd helper of heroes
Now I don't have any particular attachment to the figure of Athena as deity, or even to New Age goddess terminology, but the idea that a woman could BE all of these things - fully, simultaneously, without irony or incongruity, is powerfully liberating.
There are so many messages in modern society - even in pop psychology, about being One Thing. Discover it, label it, celebrate it, pick up a few hobbies to earn the term "well-rounded", but one's essential being is assumed to be unidirectional, to represent a cluster of closely related attributes.
Are you empathic, kind, compassionate? Then that white-hot ball of anger in your belly has no validity, except as a symptom. Fix it, heal it, excise or repress it... you can not be fierce and compassionate, a nurturer and a warrior.
Spinner/dyer/knitter/weaver? Understandable as a hobby, a stress reliever, but as an identity and passion co-existing with "serious" intellectual or world-changing pursuits? Incongruous, perhaps even a little embarrassing.
Jane Brocket's blog post a little while ago alluded to this issue - remember the backlash that happened when she published The Gentle Art of Domesticity? Women with rigorous intellects and laudable ambitions don't elaborately decorate cupcakes, do they? Or if they do, they really ought to keep it discretely within the kitchen, rather than writing books about it.
The split happens in so many ways: men's work vs. women's work, intellect vs. intuition, active vs. passive, imagination vs. logic, healing vs. fighting, thinking vs. doing, domestic vs. worldly, maternal vs. ambitious.
What strengths might we discover if we came to terms with inner diversity?
Somebody called me a Renaissance woman one time because I do so many things. I took it as a complement. Although sometimes I do wonder if I could do some things better if I was less diversified. It takes time and brain power to switch gears. I must not be up on pop culture. I didn't know I was supposed to be searching for my ONE thing! I don't think of my hobbies as part of my identity but as symptoms of my identity. Maybe it's just semantics. I don't think of myself as a sewist or crafter but I suppose I do call myself a designer/maker. Because that sums up what I do regardless of the medium. I've even been known to apply my design skills to events and groups of people. That sounds rude I suppose but to me there are similar thinking patterns in my brain that I use when making stuff, that helps events run smoothly and people get along. And what's wrong with that? I agree that too much polarization is not helpful. There seems to be a lot of that going around. I like to finding a working balance. And by "working" I mean that balance is not static, it shifts and adapts.
Posted by: random Cindy | 15/04/2011 at 04:19 PM
I really like your thought provoking post. I need to ponder it some more; i may return with more thoughts on it later. Thanks for giving me something to think about it!
Posted by: Rose | 15/04/2011 at 04:28 PM
Athena has always been my favorite goddess in mythology. I have a tattoo of her guarding the scales of justice, sword upraised. Someone asked why I didn't have Blind Justice holding the scales, and I explained you can't defend justice with your eyes shut!
Lovely post, thank you.
Posted by: Clarie | 15/04/2011 at 05:11 PM
I get comments from people all the time about how I know so much stuff. I just can't fathom that people are not more curious about the world around them. All I do is pay attention to the things I see and hear. I make mental notes of them and then consider how they fit together with other things that I come across. And when it comes to crafts/arts I want to know _everything_! I have never been able to find just one thing that totally consumes me. I love it all. I've quit fighting it. I think by the time my husband retires I'll have the inventory to open my own craft shop.
And you are the only person other than my husband that I have ever seen use the word empathic...most people say empathetic. He will be impressed when I tell him about your post! 8^)
Posted by: Geraldine | 15/04/2011 at 09:11 PM
We are all many people. I think the sad thing is letting only one of those people dominate. Yes, we have a "basic" way of looking at the world which informs most of what we do, but really, how can only one aspect of our personality fit all our needs? Athena was always my favorite precisely because she was a strong, intelligent, womanly being. She could be petty and jealous and magnificent and wise. Just like us.
Posted by: Marji | 16/04/2011 at 08:08 AM
I don't think we are ever "either/or" but a matter of proportions: "some of this and some of that and a smidge of the next thing". Good, bad and indifferent. It's up to us which aspects dominate at any given time, preferably the better ones. ;)
Also I totally agree with Geraldine - I do not understand why most people aren't more curious about the world around them. It's all just so fascinating!
Love your owl, Ruth!
Posted by: Louisa | 16/04/2011 at 11:43 AM
I have never posted a comment on your blog...I am more an appreciator of your work/words/wisdom than a participator in discussion. Until now. This post...well, I have come back to read it more than a few times. It spoke to me, for I feel the same way as you and the comments above. I have been criticized for wanting to learn most handwork, artwork mediums, and craft. I consider myself a lifelong learner, to process what I learn and thrust it forward....maybe into a whole new direction. "Why don't you sell those bags"...because I don't have time to make 100 of them, when I want to be doing/learning/being inspired by something new. I like revisiting handwork that I tried in my younger days..to see how I've grown. (Like rereading a book a decade later). I am still simmering, adding ingredients and tasting life. Joy to you~ Kate
Posted by: Kate | 17/04/2011 at 12:04 PM
The balance of being a parent: nurturer versus warrior. We nurture our children helping them to become the very best that they can be, all the while being the warrior in the wings ready to pounce and defend them at a moments notice with our lives if needs be.
Our lives, our very existence are based upon these types of opposite pairings in fact being present in tandem balancing each other. Even if we fail to see or acknowledge them.
I'm so pleased for you that an eye-opening or revelation has occurred and that you can be more at peace with the variety and diversity within yourself. That is such a wonderful thing.
Posted by: Leonie | 17/04/2011 at 07:34 PM